Fictional Errors Of The Fiction World
by Hibisha
Summary: This one is specially dedicated to Stryker, my best friend.
1. You Betta read this BetaReaders!

Hibisha: OK, I have read every single story on fanfic about I.E...I dropped a couple of reviews on stories I really adore and detest. Not to be rude to anyone, but I've noticed that some of you have your stories wrong. The plots are great but you guys didn't manage to put the ideas together simultaneously. So I decided to get together with the I.E cast to tell you guys what went wrong.

Shirou: No offence to anyone but frankly, some of your stories stunk! We're not naming anyone though...

Burn: First things first...newbies, get a beta-reader.

Gazelle: There's no shame in that...everyone needs help in the start...hibisha has her entire class as her beta-reader.

Hibisha: Hey! That was a secret!

Gazelle: *snickers*

Shirou: Anyways, getting a beta-reader does not make you inferior to anyone, just bold. You were bold enough to seek help.

Atsuya: Actually...it makes you inferior...lousy...pathetic... a loser..

(Shirou throws Atsuya out of the room.)

Goenji: Second, when you get a beta-reader, make sure the're good themselves,. Don't take someone like (everyone looks at Hibisha) to be your beta-reader. They're probably gonna make you worse.

Hibisha: I am not lousy!

Fudou (smirking) : You said it, not us.

Hibisha: Hmph!

Burn: Anyways a beta-reader will help you with your grammar and spellings.

Gazelle: And other mistakes too.

Hibisha (folding arms) : If I'm that lousy, maybe _**I**_ should get a beta-reader!

Shirou: No comment.

Hibisha: Oooooh! You guys are so lucky I don't own you!

My other best friend: She's right...if she owned you all (everyone shudders)

Burn: Anyways, we'll tell you guys more in the next chapter... until then ciao!


	2. Talk Straight people!

Hibisha: And we're back!

Burn: Between now and then, we read some more stories...2 new and 1 updated. We saw more errors we wanna discuss.

Hibisha: Firstly, when writing a story, try to avoid scripts. It would be much better in descriptive forms. For example, a scene in a haunted house can be written as:

**Endou (looking around) : Its so creepy here!**

**Kazemaru (hugging himself) : I know!**

Or for better effect it can be written as:

**Endou shivered as he looked around the dusty old mansion. The staircase creaked slightly, making him nearly jump out of his skin.**

**"Its so creepy here." he muttered shivering. His best friend nodded.**

**"I know." Kazemaru agreed, hugging himself tightly.**

Heather: See? Didn't that give a picture in your mind? Its easier to imagine the story happening this way.

Gazelle: Just for the record, this only for stories. This rule does not apply for gameshows because that can not be helped.

My other best friend: Now for the speeches. Try starting every new speech from a new line and see the difference!

Gazelle: Like, this

**"Hey Heather." a voice shattered her thoughts. She looked up and her eyes widened. There stood Shirou Fubuki, the school's star soccer player. Heather blinked. "Yes?" she asked, breathless...the guy was so cute! He set his tray next to her. "All the other tables are full." he explained as she eyed him warily. She raised her eyebrow and bit her lip. Alicia and Garnet's table was almost empty...he sat down opposite to her and gave her a grin. "Nice to meet you." he said to her, extending his hand. Heather stared at him. She tentatively extended her hand and shook hands with him. He gave her another grin, picking up a sandwich and taking a bite out of it. Heather looked at her tray. She had no appetite. Heather had lost it ever since...not a memory she wanted to relive...She could feel Shirou boring holes in the her head, so she raised her eyes to look at him. Just as she had suspected, he was staring at her...she saw his cheeks flame and he quickly looked away. Heather took a sip from her juice, amused. The guy looked at her with a shy smile. "Ummm...Heather?" he asked. "Yeah?" she asked with a nod of her head."Can I ask you something?" he said. "Go ahead." she said. "uhhh...er...umm..." he said clearly flustered. "How nice." Heather snickered. He seemed to lose his cool completely at that. Heather cocked her head and stared at him. The guy was definitely cute, that was for sure... "What is it?" she asked. She had never been really patient. He cleared his throat. She grinned. "Are you trying to ask me out?" she questioned. He nodded. She smiled sweetly "Sure!" she said, "Pick me up at 8!" And with that she got up and left the cafetaria.**

Confusing right? How about this for a change:

**"Hey Heather." a voice shattered her thoughts. She looked up and her eyes widened. There stood Shirou Fubuki, the school's star soccer player. Heather blinked.**

**"Yes?" she asked, breathless...the guy was so cute! He set his tray next to her.**

**"All the other tables are full." he explained as she eyed him warily. She raised her eyebrow and bit her lip. Alicia and Garnet's table was almost empty...he sat down opposite to her and gave her a grin.**

**"Nice to meet you." he said to her, extending his hand. Heather stared at him. She tentatively extended her hand and shook hands with him. He gave her another grin, picking up a sandwich and taking a bite out of it. Heather looked at her tray. She had no appitite. Heather had lost it ever since...not a memory she wanted to relive...She could feel Shirou boring holes in the her head, so she raised her eyes to look at him. Just as she had suspected, he was staring at her...she saw his cheeks flame and he quickly looked away. Heather took a sip from her juice, amused. The guy looked at her with a shy smile.**

**"Ummm...Heather?" he asked.**

**"Yeah?" she asked with a nod of her head.**

**"Can I ask you something?" he said.**

**"Go ahead." she said.**

**"uhhh...er...umm..." he said clearly flustered.**

**"How nice." Heather snickered. He seemed to lose his cool completely at that. Heather cocked her head and stared at him. The guy was definitely cute, that was for sure...**

**"What is it?" she asked. She had never been really patient. He cleared his throat. She grinned.**

**"Are you trying to ask me out?" she questioned. He nodded. She smiled sweetly**

**"Sure!" she said, "Pick me up at 8!" And with that she got up and left the cafetaria.**

Burn: Much easier to understand if you ask me...

Hiroto: The thing that bothers me the most is:

**"Hey Heather."**

**A voice shattered her thoughts. She looked up and her eyes widened. There stood Shirou Fubuki, the school's star soccer player. Heather blinked. "Yes?"**

**She asked, breathless...the guy was so cute! He set his tray next to her. "All the other tables are full."**

**He explained as she eyed him warily. She raised her eyebrow and bit her lip. Alicia and Garnet's table was almost empty...he sat down opposite to her and gave her a grin. "Nice to meet you."**

**He said to her, extending his hand. Heather stared at him. She tentatively extended her hand and shook hands with him. He gave her another grin, picking up a sandwich and taking a bite out of it. Heather looked at her tray. She had no appitite. Heather had lost it ever since...not a memory she wanted to relive...She could feel Kriss boring holes in the her head, so she raised her eyes to look at him. Just as she had suspected, he was staring at her...she saw his cheeks flame and he quickly looked away. Heather took a sip from her juice, amused. The guy looked at her with a shy smile. "Ummm...Heather?"**

**He asked. "Yeah?"**

**She asked with a nod of her head. "Can I ask you something?"**

**He said. "Go ahead."**

**She said. "uhhh...er...umm..."**

**He said clearly flustered. "How nice."**

**Heather snickered. He seemed to lose his cool completely at that. Heather cocked her head and stared at him. The guy was definitely cute, that was for sure... "What is it?"**

**She asked. She had never been really patient. He cleared his throat. She grinned. "Are you trying to ask me out?"**

**She questioned. He nodded. She smiled sweetly "Sure!" she said, "Pick me up at 8!"**

**And with that she got up and left the cafetaria.**

Atsuya: When you guys write like this (I've not seen this in I.E fandom unless I missed a story but in other stories so I thought I'd mention it.) its hard to tell whose saying what.

Heather: So try it our way and see the difference.

Fudou: That's all the tips for this chapter. We'll keep you guys posted..

Kidou: Over and out!


	3. Plots and schemes

Stryker: Here we go again!

Hibisha: We read more stories and saw more that we wanted to point out to you guys.

My other best friend: Generally, all your ideas are great. But some of you haven't managed to gather all those thoughts into a single solid body.

Burn: Her's an idea for you guys. Do what Hibisha does and take ideas out of our own lfe.

Gazelle: Like if you were late for class this morning, you can start the strory like this:

**Shirou rushed into school and headed toward his class. Damn! He was already ten minutes late! Trust Atsuya to take the car and leave him stranded!...**

Burn: You guys can continue it on your own. Make it funny, sad, horrific...remember, its up to you what happens next!

Hibisha: I haven't been late once this year!

Stryker: Lets get to our OCs...

My other best friend: First of all, instead of makng your OC the person everyone is frightened of, Miss. Popular and good at everything, how about giving a little flaws? Mary-sues and Gary-sams (guy characters) are not great.

Gazelle: Yeah, we don't want any more ''Heathers" to roam this world.

Hibisha: Heather is not a mary-sue! In case you are forgetting, her fashion sense sucks, she isn't great at everything, she isn't loved by all and a lot of people hate her. Shirou and Atsuya have made it their mission in life to make her life miserable and they are assisted by Burn and Gazelle! See! Heather is not a Mary-sue...and I thought Mary-sues had to be cheerleaders and rich. Not to mention gossip-queens. These qualities aren't what Heather's re-known for.

Shirou: yeah right...

Endou: Back on track, how about an avid description of your OC? Like instead of just

**Kyoko, Burn's sister, came barging in the room.**

**"You!" she screeched, pointing accusingly at Gazelle, "How dare you hurt Burn!"**

You can write,

**Kyoko, Burn's sister, came barging in the room. Like her brother, she had blood-red hair and golden orbs for eyes. Her skin was perfectly tanned and her hair fell a little below her waist. She was about two inches shorter than her brother but was just as hot in comparison.**

**"You!" she screeched, pointing a perfectly manicured finger at Gazelle accusingly, "How dare you hurt Burn!"**

Gazelle: see? Isn't that better?

Hibisha: I object to the above paragraph! No one can be as hot as Burn!

Burn (smirking) : Wow...my very own stalker.

Hibisha: I am not a stalker...just a fan.

Gazelle: While we're talking, might as well tell you guys a huge mistake you guys make.

Burn: Yeah...hey everyone! Ever heard of "paragraphs"?

Hibisha: Yeah, you guys don't break the story into paragraphs...not all of you guys but some do it!

Kazemaru: Yeah, instead of one single body of jumbled sentences, how about you guys break them apart?

Fudou: remember, when we say 'paragraphs' we do not mean that every new sentence should be a paragraph!

Kidou: And you've finished, proof read what you've written to make sure you've got it right.

Sakuma: Another point we wish to discuss is the ratings.

Hibisha (sternly) :Guys! If you're writing about sex concerned stories, the least you guys could do is put it in the "T" rated sections, not "K+"!

Gazelle (curious) : What brought about this topic?

My other best friend (giggling hysterically) : Poor Hibisha! she was out to out read every single BurnXGazelle story there is. She was reading this supposedly 'K+' story which turned our to be all about this 'particular' topic. Hibisha was so horrified that she couldn't look at any of you guys for day, and I don't blame her because the author actually had the guts to describe the whole thing...it turned out to be about all of you guys...

Gazelle: Wow...that's horrible...

Hibisha (emo corner) : My mind...my beautiful innocent and pure mind!

Stryker: I told you not to read yaois...

Hibisha: Its the plot that bothered me not the pairings...!

Fudou: See ya' all later! We'll be back.

hibisha: Hopefully, soon!


End file.
